accepting & emerging.

 

You better know that in the end 

It's better to say too much 

Than to never to say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shakin' 

And your faith is broken 

Even as the eyes are closin' 

Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say

{john mayer} 

and in these declarations of what we really want to say, we free ourselves 

free ourselves from being "stuck"

...stuck in rewind

or in hopes for fast forward...

the best way is not to fight it , just go. don't be trying all the time to fix things. 

what you run from only stays with you longer. when you fight something, you only make it stronger. 

-chuck palahniuk

there is unmatched strength in this #acceptance

we are pushed forward by the wind of our release

i'm emerging into new life-giving patterns
of bravery
and honesty
with myself
and with others
 

...and it's cozy here
as i settle into my own skin.

letting myself off the hook.

i shared earlier in the month that i (along with other bravehearts) am choosing acceptance over resolutions this january. acceptance as a safe place to land. acceptance as a means to emerge into new patterns clothed in grace and rest rather than performing or striving. 

you find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, 
but by realizing who you are at the deepest level. 
-eckhart tolley
(thanks to hannah for sharing this quote.)

i accept 

it takes as long as it takes 

a break, a pause

an earlier bed time.

i accept 

that all of it counts, nothing is wasted

the flow

letting myself off the hook.


i accept

this

here

now.

so although yes, i am going to the gym more regularly, yes, i am setting new goals and exploring expanded possibilities and opportunities (even for my little corner of the internet), i am taking off the hat of my own worst critic and picking up the hat of patience and compassion (which we so often pour out to others with no hesitation).  

you see, acceptance starts with us.
who we are.
not what we do.
or fail to do.

goodbye ---> more. improve. don't. stop. fix. hurry. guilt. deadlines. run faster.

i accept...
 

perspective.

weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them. 
-a.a. milne

this week...

i accept blessings in disguise 

and beauty in unlikely places.

the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. 

-joseph campbell 

i accept.

as the first day of this New Year comes to a close, i am feeling full and grateful. instead of rushing to make a list of ways i failed in 2012, and could dramatically improve in these next 364 days, i am choosing to accept...

acceptance feels so much more tender than "resolution." 

acceptance is softening and grace. 

it's bravery and vulnerability.

{acceptance doesn't necessarily mean approval.} but is often vital for moving on & starting a new chapter. 

to look at my current situation: with joys and triumphs, annoyances, and fears, unknowns and disappointments, and to boldly say, i accept you. powerful. 

to look back at last year, the last five years, and see my choices through the lens of acceptance and not guilt or regret. powerful. 

to look in the mirror, at my often glaring imperfections, a few more rolls than last year, fully exposed, and to genuinely say...i accept you. powerful.  

to accept that i am not behind, or too late, or too much, or too little. powerful. 

acceptance is the theme for January in the creative tribe i belong to...The Art Journaler Community:

we would love to have you join us. 

stay tuned here for more updates on how one little word will impact the coming days for me. 

{i accept.} 

be en{courage}d.

a c c e p t.

you are exactly where you should be.

you are right on time.

eliminate: catching up.


b r e a t h e. 

something beautiful is being birthed.

exhale, release.

free yourself.


c r e a t e.

create {in the midst of} the chaos, for this is fertile ground.

create new patterns, new rhythms, new traditions.

it takes courage to be creative.

you might be surprised at what beauty will appear on the {pages} of your life.

bits & pieces.

if you haven't read yesterday's post, please do.

i'm giving myself {grace} this week.

the {bits and pieces} have been scattered. and most went un-captured.

but this wild, rare, and delicate orchid (for under 10 bucks i might add) found me at the grocery store. and she had to be mine. 
she's going to remind me that beauty is always waiting around the corner.
it might seem small.
but the orchid has had great meaning for me this year.
and it was just what i needed.

i'd love for you to share one (or a few) parts of your week that were extra beautiful or life-giving.
and if not, i honor that too.

Let us remember that a moment’s pause is {enough} 

Make it work FOR you … not become work for you, Braveheart. 
It is art … it is whatever you decide it to be. 
-found here. 

thank you for the permission.

have a wonderful weekend everyone. mine includes a manicure + pedicure & some time in my orange chair at "my" starbucks. <3 yes, please.

centered through creativity.

i tweeted this last night: exhausted. time to ::create:: in my studio to refocus my mind before bed. 

sweet mandy replied and asked what's your secret to creating out of exhaustion? i can't do it. (or at least i don't think i can). 

to which i answered: release the weight of fatigue/left brain tendencies through colors & syllables--push through until my mind is clear and i can fully rest. 

i'm creating a page a day in a special art journal for the month of december  inspired by *magic* mandy's advent adventure. on top of mountains of responsibility and lengthy lists of tasks, reminders and plans, i'm setting aside time every evening to sneak away to my *studio* and put some paint on the page. 

because that's what art journaling, writing, creating is about. getting out what is on the inside. 

i live a real life beyond the pretty, polished posts that end up here. 

i work a full time job. 

i am married to a pastor, so i serve in ministry by his side. 

i am now the social media manager for The Art Journaler as well as the online executive assistant for the incredible, Teresa.  

i blog. i paint. i cook. i clean. i rehearse. i sing. i commute. {repeat}.

but i don't want to do a little bit of everything, running on steam, and not be centered or focused in any area, because i'm trying to do it {all}.

we are human beings not human doings. 

and nobody can do it all.

a wise woman once shared with me the illustration of a jar, a few big stones, and lots of little ones. you can't fill up the jar with all the little stones and try to fit the big ones on the top, it just won't work. you need to put the big ones in first. and then build accordingly. 

as a passionate and creative person, it's easy for me to over-commit and set up lofty goals for myself and my days.

what has been so freeing for me to realize is that ---> creativity doesn't have to be reserved for set aside "art" time. in fact, art journaling has helped me become more centered & focused this week amidst all my activity. creative planning helps to map out my priorities. i am starting to make a "red box" for the day/the week/the month. this is carved out time devoted to certain aspects of my life, so i'm not trying to fit it all into everyday. 

another resource that's been helpful to me is susannah's "unravelling." this helps me to clarify my activity and cast vision for my time. each year, i pick a word (or three) and funnel my thoughts, energy and time through those guiding syllables. {just decided on my word(s) for 2013 today! super exciting!}

i hope that if you've been feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, frazzled, in a rut, "blah" or any of the above, some aspect of this post was encouraging to you. i invite you to carve out some *you* time, whatever that looks like, (for me, creating) and honor the priorities you've set for yourself. you are free from trying to fit it all in. 

By the sacred yes or sacred no I mean that affirmation or negation that comes from a deep place of wisdom and courage, even if it creates conflict or disagreement. The sacred yes is not willful or egocentric, but rather is willing and surrendered. The sacred no is not rebellion or refusal, but always the necessary protecting of boundaries. ~richard rohr 

tonight, i'm crawling into bed a bit {more centered}. fully accepting all i was able to accomplish today and releasing what still needs to be done. 

breathing deeper. 

and dreaming in {color} for what is to come.   

seen.

i am afraid to show you who i really am, because if i show you who i really am, you might not like it--and that's all i got. 

-sabrina ward harrison

i've always been a "girlie girl." applying a full face of make up is just a part of my routine as brushing my teeth. 

i had a recent epiphany about this "practice" of applying my make up.

{the less make up i wore, the clearer my skin got.} 

when i have breakouts, it's such a natural instinct to plaster on layer upon layer to try and hide each blemish and uneven patch of my skin. but in reality, all of this make up is just further clogging my pores. and not allowing the healing to happen--but just providing a "quick fix" and cover up.

and i thought, wow. that translates to our lives too.

the more we let ourselves be seen, the more freedom we find. 

there is such healing in our lives {and "clearing" of our skin} when we peel back the layers and shed our defense mechanisms {hiding, retreating, reverting to what is comfortable}.

cleanse. 

the fear and anxiety of the "truth." uncovering what's hidden. what no one really "sees." {release and allowing}. daily.

exfoliate. 

slow, circular motions. the deep cleaning. to remove the dead cells, that which no longer produces life, and stunts growth and forward motion. we must exfoliate to reveal the beauty, underneath.

moisturize. apply life giving nutrients to the body & soul. once the filth has been removed, drench yourself with affirmation and healing emollient. {pamper.}

sometimes it starts with first, seeing ourselves. and not grimacing or wincing. but smiling. and delighting. and accepting. and loving. 

kelly & liz have helped me to embrace the practice of self portraits. capturing ourselves, for who we are:

And here it is. Me. Breathing, being, knowing me. The me who walks this path trying to tell her story through words plus photos. The me trying to just lean into the truth that loving this body, this beautiful body that houses this soul who is me, is the only way forward now. Me. Beautiful. Real. Me.

Try it. Take a few self-portraits. Take 100 if you want. Find the you in there. The beautiful you. Choose to see your beauty. 

(original post here).

i am beautiful. today. now. just the way i am. 

i am not too much. 

i am not too scarred. 

or imperfect.

i do not have to hide.  

i am seen. 

i am accepted.

i am embraced

i am loved.

a new cadence to my days.

{source}

a lot of the secret messages i've been hearing whispered to my ears and appear gently before my eyes lately are "just be yourself," "trust your heart" and like the bird proclaims "sing your own song." when i see something repeatedly, it prompts me to take notice. it seemed as a result of declaring,  "i’m blooming where i’m planted," new opportunities magically appeared before me.

　

part of embracing "me" in this season is found in the new role i'm playing and the rhythm and cadence of my days.

i've gone from sleeping in, hosting "play" dates, hours nestled by the fireplace at starbucks, and afternoons spent art journaling...

to early morning commutes, spreadsheets, staff meetings, and "business casual."

this translates to less time spent blogging and connecting with others online. i’m mourning the loss of the freedom of the last season, all the while embracing the possibilities and opportunities that await me here.

my arms are wide open to receive all that this next season of my life has for me. i am singing my own song, blogging when i can, about what inspires me and makes my heart beat faster.

so, bear with me, dear songbird followers. i may not be posting every other day as i was able to do in the last season of my life, but i’m here. and i’m present. i’m not forcing posts just to meet a standard set by no one.

i so appreciate your support. every comment is a treasure to me. thanks for stopping by and making my corner of the internet a home away from home for you. i pray you continue to feel welcomed & warm.

so much love,

my life as worship.

this is alicia. isn't she beautiful? {those eyes. wow.}

alicia writes:

Right in this moment, I believe that my life is worship. The things that I do in each sacred second can be holy and sacred. I am not so removed from all that is Divine and sweet, even as I sit in the car and read the words on a CD case, even as I stare upon the flaming trees and hear the sounds of laughter from each of my kids.

There have been moments when I’ve dismissed so much. Separating the sacred from the routine, the minuscule from the majestic. It all looks very different to me now.

i couldn't agree more. she has sparked a revolution of recognizing the sacred moments of our everyday lives. and she invites each and every one of us to join in. 

simply use the hashtag #mylifeasworship on twitter & instagram (or post on facebook) listing the glimpses of Divine beauty that surround you. 

some of my favorites: 

holding hands as we fall asleep 

taking my time 

hearing a song in a whole new way

thinking how good it feels to share with someone else

breaking in a new planner

clearing my head with a walk down an Oklahoma red dirt road

the way she wears what she feels happy and comfortable in

cleaning the space next to my bed

a hot shower in the middle of the day

{shared from @aliciat, @thelovelymessy, @rootsofshe, @stargardener, @laurawingfield instagrams & tweets}. 

you can find my documentation of #mylifeasworship on IG & twitter under @eesimpson. and follow alicia on her blog here. God is everywhere, i've found that we simply have to open our eyes to the awareness of this. <3

sweet release.

{source}

the idea of letting go and release has been on my mind and heart lately. and it's shown up in "secret messages" in quite a few places. {i love that}.

she shared an incredible art journal page with this caption, "in the release you became."
and one of the prompts for the art journaler was "i'm letting go of..." and "i'm embracing..."
then there was this post, some of the most powerful, raw & incredible poetic stanzas i've ever read on fear, freedom and redemption.
and i've seen the quote in the image above too many places to count. 

so i started taking notice.

{source}

i sat in my "studio" on friday night and thought to myself, i can't imagine my life without art journaling. what took me so long? it's one thing to have thoughts & even conversations about your life, your emotions, things that piss you off, make you cry, cause you to jump up and down. but there's something so tangible & satisfying about writing it down. putting it on the page. it brings my thoughts to reality, gives them a shape and a color. i've found such a sweet release in "getting it out."

so on that note, here's my response to the art journaler prompt:

{if you are new to style of a songbird, i art journal in a method called "altered books." i buy old books at goodwill & use them for my art journal. it's so fun to incorporate some of the phrases from the book into the page.} 

some of the key phrases:

i'm letting go of...

are we there yet? {needing to know exactly where i am on the journey and what's around the next corner}

voice of opposition {could be others or my own voice}

i just wonder if i'm enough {i think every woman faces this. in so many aspects of our lives} 

must-do {as much as i love making lists, they can be so daunting and guilt ridden}

too late {it's a lie}

skin perfection {may sound incredibly vain, but my moods have been determined by the blemishes on my face.} i'm letting it go...

the words incorporated into my page from the original book: 

don't go too far

worry

storm blowing 

dry season

go to sleep

shut up

quite black

i'm embracing...

the freedom to be vulnerable {admitting the "letting go's" is a good place to start}

yes {three powerful letters spell one life altering word}

paths less traveled {may be lonely, but i'm never alone}

mystery {this takes incredible bravery}

breathe {a deep inhale & slow exhale can make all the difference}

unlimited {taking the limits off of myself, my expectations, and my dreams}

the words from the original book: 

one of the gang {it feels so good to belong}

laughed so much

my life was worth

she sat smiling

flowers in her hair

it was romantic

this past week has been a time of  reevaluating. knowing what's mine to carry and what i don't have to accept merely out of habit. 

what are you letting go of? embracing? {i'd love to know}.

with so much love, 

blooming.

{source}

this season of my life has been filled with "secret messages" about "blooming." it started out back in June when we moved to Connecticut. my friend said we were being transplanted by the Master Gardener.

then a beautiful woman declared that i would bloom where i'm planted. not looking back, but moving forward. not living based on the fear of what people think or what man has to say.

a lady last week said, "what happened? i left for two weeks, and you look like this. you are blossoming."

little whispers are speaking over my seed

and the true colors of my petals are springing forth. 

i am an orchid blooming; being renamed, truly seen.

no difference.

{story people}

i found this quote on her gorgeous, inspiring blog. it brought tears to my eyes.

i love you, babe.

(i don't have blue eyes, but you get the idea.)